Bo Burnham is a 23-year-old songwriter and performer. He use to upload videos frequently on youtube, but since his audience has grown, he does tours and live shows instead. Last year he published a book of poems and illustrations called, “Egghead: Or You Can’t Survive on Ideas Alone”. One of the poems featured in his book is called “I F—K S—ts” on text, but said out loud it’s called I Fuck Sluts. It might not seem like it from the title, but “I F–k S–ts” is a poem about heartbreak.
The complete poem is about five stanzas long. Let’s take a look at the first Stanza.
Sluts, sluts, I fuck sluts.
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No if and’s, and or but’s. I fuck sluts.
I fuck sluts.
The first stanza makes it obvious that the author Bo “fucks sluts”. This is due to him constantly repeating to his audience that he fucks sluts. Sluts, if you don’t know are promiscuous women, and the act of fucking is having casual non-romantic sex. Burnham seems to enjoy the false intimacy that he experiences with these sluts. Let’s move on to the second stanza.
Nice girls are nice but no good for nut-sucking,
You’ll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking,
But that’ll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls. Praise be to slut fucking!
In the second stanza Bo compares nice girls, and sluts. He prefers sluts, because it’s easier to get them to have sex with you. When it comes to nice girls, you have to take them out to dates, and spend time and money to get them to have sex with you. Sluts are also more likely to do more depraved sexual acts that some other women aren’t likely to do. These acts include such as “nut-sucking” and anal. He shames the nice girls, and applauds the sluts for this reason.
I have a list.
Yes, a list of all the sluts I’ve missed.
I’ve never fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed.
So when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list.
Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my nut sucking,
“Suck it slut”, slut fucking bucket-list.
This third stanza shows how Bo treats these sluts. Once he gets what he wants from a slut he moves on with his life. These sluts serve the purpose to pleasure him for a short amount of time, and he then finds a new slut he hasn’t had sex with. The last few lines here are very vulgar; he uses derogatory language towards the slut while having sex with her, which shows his lack of respect towards them.
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink, or almond.
They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones.
Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash.
The fourth stanza is probably one of the more humorous ones in the poem. Bo describes these sluts come in many different skin tones, but all are skinny. The last line tells the audience that sluts aren’t very smart, and wear very little clothing that exposes their skin.
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart.
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart.
They can talk about science, music, or art.
They can put you together or they can pull you apart.
But don’t trust these sluts, don’t, don’t you dare.
They’ll force you to trust them and love them and care.
And then they’ll be gone and then you’ll be aware of that hole in your heart
That dumb slut left there.
The last stanza is where the tone of the poem takes a different tone. He talks about sluts who are smart and interesting, which contracts the last line from the fourth stanza. He warns the audience to stay away from these types of sluts, because they end up using, and then leaving you.
What starts out as a funny vulgar poem, holds a message about a horrible past experience and heartbreak. The poem is about how the character was hurt by these pretty, funny, and smart sluts, and how he, in turn emulated the personas of the sluts that hurt him.